I’m having problems forgiving a person who, after I forgive him, turns around and does something else bad. I feel that I am being taken for granted. Am I forgiving too easily or too much? Is there a limit?

First of all, you are no pushover. One of the few things that Jesus said on the cross was, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). If Jesus could forgive the people who killed him, then you can’t be considered a pushover for forgiving a friend, no matter how many things he or she does.

In the gospel of Matthew, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who has done something wrong against him, “till seven times?” Jesus replies, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Matt 18:21, 22). Now Jesus did not really mean 490 times. His statement meant that God forgives us not just numerous times, but an unlimited amount; therefore, we should do the same with others. Jesus forgave every person he ever saw for whatever his or her sins were. He never thought twice about forgiving; it came naturally because he forgave through his understanding of God and his relationship to Him.

It is important that we not hold what someone has done in the past against him and expect that that’s what he’ll do in the future. Just forgive in the moment and have no thought of anything else. We only live in the present moment, not in past moments, nor future moments.

It is also important to know how Jesus forgave. He didn’t just say that all the sins that someone had committed didn’t matter. He said that they were forgiven. He didn’t condemn the person. In fact, he separated the person from the sins. He did not attach sins to a person. In doing this, he showed the person his or her true, God-given identity. And the person was healed!

That is what you must do for your friend. You must disentangle him from his mistakes by forgiving him.