Do you have a question you've always wanted answered? Do you have a helpful idea, a solution, or an answer to a problem you've handled successfully that you'd like to share to help your peers? The Questions and Answers section of Teen Time is specifically for you to ask questions about issues in your life and provide inspiration for others.

Note: Make sure you check out previous questions. You may be able to read or give new and helpful answers.

 
     
Question 73  
 
Q73  

Why should I be myself when I want to be someone different?

 
 
     
  Visitor Answer 73  
 
A73  

If you are acting like someone you aren’t, if you’re not being yourself around people, then you are lying to them and to yourself. You will end up finding friends and getting into relationships that are based on that false personality you’ve created.
You might get stuck in a situation where you aren’t happy because you are faking your interests or your persona.
 
Then if you realize you’re not in your right place – that you aren’t happy with yourself or the friends you hang out with – and want to change, it can be really hard because everybody knows you based on a false identity. So just be yourself from the start. Avoid making life complicated. That’s the simplest way, but we don’t always follow it.

That’s why learning to love yourself is so important. Loving what your talents are and the unique way you interact with other people are gifts God has given you. Instead of pretending to be someone you aren’t, enjoy being who you are! While everybody shares the same qualities (because everybody has characteristics from God), no two people express them the same way. This doesn’t make one person better than another. It just makes us all different. We all have our own ways of acting and responding to different situations. We all have individual ways of expressing God.

To express yourself, you have to love yourself. And if you love yourself, then you are expressing yourself. It’s a waste of time to act like someone else because there is already one of that someone else. If you are yourself, you have so much more to offer. Being unique (and being proud of who you are) is what people love about you.

Jesus is a strong example of someone who was truly able to be himself. He knew his mission, which came from God. He was aware he was going to be crucified and resurrected. Though the crucifixion was not going to be easy, he knew the outcome was going to be worth it. If Jesus were trying to follow the crowd, he would have been concerned with fitting in so he could feel loved, and he probably would have given up his mission. Instead, he was hated and misunderstood more than loved and appreciated. But he stuck with it. He stayed true to himself and completed his mission and proved God’s point and shared Christianity with the world. He always did what God created him to do. While his life wasn’t easy, it was rewarding!

It’s important to do things God created us to do and to do things we enjoy doing, not because it’s what the majority is doing. We should be able to say with Paul, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself…. It is the Lord who judges me” (I Cor 4:3, 5 NIV).

Last year, during a middle school meeting, my friend noticed a huge clique in the middle of the room sitting together talking. We were with our own group – which is what we liked – but it didn’t seem to be “the group,” so she was discouraged. One of my other friends just laughed and said, “Why does it matter if we’re a part of their group or not when we have each other?” It was so true! Even if we didn’t hang out with the “popular” group, we hung out with the people we loved and had fun together , so it didn’t matter.

If we’re like Jesus and listen to God, do what God wants us to do, and fully trust in God, then we are expressing God and being ourselves. It takes loving ourselves to be ourselves. It can be very challenging sometimes to stick up for ourselves and our rights. But in the end, we won’t regret anything. Everything will come together the way God wants it to.

 
    -- Sierra Sprague, 14, FLA  
 
     
 

Email us your questions, answers, and inspirational comments.

We will answer and post as many Q&As as possible each month. It's always great to include Bible passages that have helped you.

 
 
 

Previous
Questions and Answers

 
  How do teens deal with peer pressure?  
  How can we pray about elections?  
  Why is it wrong to lie or to deceive?  
  How do you get rid of self-doubt?  
  Am I forgiving too easily or too much? Is there a limit?  
  How do you stop jealousy?  
  How do you know who to trust?  
  Is swearing really that big of a deal?  
  Does what I choose to wear really matter?  
  Why does everyone gossip?  
  How do you deal with stressful situations?  
  What can I do if I don’t feel I measure up to my parents’ expectations?  
  Why is it so important to lead an unselfish life?  
  I’m the one that always does the work, while my younger sibling goofs off. I feel jealous of my brother. What can I do?  
  How do you forgive someone who doesn’t seem to deserve forgiveness?  
  How do you have a good self-image?  
  How do you find the right amount of self-confidence?  
  How or why should you be kind to someone you really don’t like?  
  How can you keep your individuality, fit in, and have friends when people judge you on appearances?  
  I don’t like it when people pick on others. Can one person really make a difference?  
  How do you deal with anger?  
  What’s so wrong with using steroids to build up your strength?  
  Are there any Bible passages that can help me pray about poverty?  
  What do you do when your siblings are not as into God as you are?  
  How do you balance sports and academics?  
 

How can I keep from reacting when people are judging me?

 
  How do we handle discouragement over not fitting in?  
  Is there a right way to think about food so that it doesn’t control us?  
  Why should I follow God when He doesn’t give me enough of an explanation?  
  How do I deal with not wanting to move to a new place and go to a new school?  
  When suggestions or thoughts come to you to take your life, what can you do?  
  How do you handle the temptations to have sex, drink, steal, etc?  
  Why is it so important to be yourself?  
  How can I make every week not seem so long and pointless?  
  How do you deal with criticism?  
  What do you do when you feel that your parents don’t know what’s best for you in the long run?  
  How can I find ideas when I have no inspiration to write a paper?  
  When a friend comes to you with a problem, how can you help him or her when you aren’t sure what to say?  
  If you bully others, why should you stop? And if you’re being bullied, how do you deal with it?  
  Why do people say that confidence is so important for teenagers?  
  How do you make the right decisions?  
  Peer pressure comes up in most of our lives, so how do you say, “No”?  
  How can we be happy when there are so many problems in high school?  
  Is it important to forgive?  
  The Bible says that God created mankind to “have dominion . . . over every living thing.” What exactly does that mean in relation to how we treat our earth?  
  How do you break stereotypes and make new friends when others make fun of you for reaching beyond the “accepted” circle?  
  How do we know if what we want is really what we need?  
  What do you do and how do you work when a teacher doesn't like you?  
  Moses stood on "holy ground." Did that mean he didn't need to go into the Promised Land?  
  How do I handle an abusive relationship?  
  Am I ever going to feel happy again?  
  What exactly is "Moses' sin"?  
  Is there anything in the Bible about interracial relations?  
  How do I deal with rejection?  
  How can you become a better student?  
  Why is the Bible so graphic at times?  
  Are there any Bible stories about relieving stress?  
  Why are the Midianites enslaving the children of Israel around Gideon's time?  
  What if Jesus never lived?  
  Does God really care about us?  
  How do you make good friends?  
  How do you motivate yourself to do things you don't really want to do but you should do?  
  How did the Children of Israel find water in a desert?  
  How do you know what's right to do in different situations?  
  In reference to the question, "Does God exist?" I'd like to learn more about the nature or concept of God.  
  Why did life spans of people go down when the flood happened?  
  How do we know God exists?
 
  I was wondering how to deal with people who speak in a harsh or unkind way unjustly, especially in the work field.
 
  How do you not get caught up in appearances and expectations and still not seem out-of-date, behind the times, or out-of-place?
 
  How can I feel good about myself when I don't like the way I look?  
 
 
     
   
     
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