Do you have a question you've always wanted answered? Do you have a helpful idea, a solution, or an answer to a problem you've handled successfully that you'd like to share to help your peers? The Questions and Answers section of Teen Time is specifically for you to ask questions about issues in your life and provide inspiration for others.

Note: Make sure you check out previous questions. You may be able to read or give new and helpful answers.

 
     
Question 69  
 
Q69  

How do you get rid of self-doubt when you don’t feel good enough for your friends?

 
 
     
  Visitor Answer 69  
 
A69  

Many teens today, including myself, are either currently dealing with or have dealt with the fear of not feeling good enough for their parents, themselves, or their friends. While some may think that there is no hope, I have actually found examples from the Bible that have helped me realize that feelings of inadequacy can be overcome. I was able to break through this fear. While it was difficult, I think that it is really important that teens realize that it can be overcome. Confidence in yourself is one of the greatest things you can have.

One of the most familiar examples from the Bible takes place when God has asked Moses to free the Israelites. Moses makes it very clear that he does not think they will trust him or even believe that God would talk to a guy like him. We read in Exodus, “Moses objected, ‘They won’t trust me. They won’t listen to a word I say. They’re going to say, ‘God? Appear to him? Hardly!’” (The Message, Ex 4:1). Moses thinks people will think that he is just a big joke or question why he got chosen by God.

As teens, we can relate to Moses. We deal with the fear of looking like a joke in front of our friends. But we know that things for Moses turned out pretty well all because he used his faith in God and was able to find confidence within himself. So things for us can turn out well if we trust in God to give us confidence.

I actually have dealt with feeling like I am not good enough for my friends. At the end of sixth grade, my best friend informed me that she would no longer be coming to the same school as me. I had other friends, but I was not as comfortable around them as I was with her. This came at the worst time because the next year, I would be making the transition into middle school, an already nerve-racking experience. I was talking to one of my other friends about this, and she was making me feel worse and worse about myself, to the point where I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Eventually, seventh grade started, and I had to face my problem of self doubt. I was able to talk to the friend who had made me feel bad, and we both realized that what she thought was just joking around had actually made my self-confidence diminish. We became stronger friends than we already were, and we are still friends today. I feel completely comfortable around her and most importantly, I feel equal to her.

The feeling of not being good enough is common among teenagers. But once you are able to overcome your self doubt, it is easier to enjoy your life. I am in high school right now, and this new-found self-confidence helped me enjoy my freshman year. While it was challenging, I am really happy that I was able to overcome self-doubt. I hope more teens are able to realize how good they really are.

 
    -- Sarah Stolfa, teenager  
       
 
     
 

Email us your questions, answers, and inspirational comments.

We will answer and post as many Q&As as possible each month. It's always great to include Bible passages that have helped you.

 
 
 

Previous
Questions and Answers

 
  Am I forgiving too easily or too much? Is there a limit?  
  How do you stop jealousy?  
  How do you know who to trust?  
  Is swearing really that big of a deal?  
  Does what I choose to wear really matter?  
  Why does everyone gossip?  
  How do you deal with stressful situations?  
  What can I do if I don’t feel I measure up to my parents’ expectations?  
  Why is it so important to lead an unselfish life?  
  I’m the one that always does the work, while my younger sibling goofs off. I feel jealous of my brother. What can I do?  
  How do you forgive someone who doesn’t seem to deserve forgiveness?  
  How do you have a good self-image?  
  How do you find the right amount of self-confidence?  
  How or why should you be kind to someone you really don’t like?  
  How can you keep your individuality, fit in, and have friends when people judge you on appearances?  
  I don’t like it when people pick on others. Can one person really make a difference?  
  How do you deal with anger?  
  What’s so wrong with using steroids to build up your strength?  
  Are there any Bible passages that can help me pray about poverty?  
  What do you do when your siblings are not as into God as you are?  
  How do you balance sports and academics?  
 

How can I keep from reacting when people are judging me?

 
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  Why should I follow God when He doesn’t give me enough of an explanation?  
  How do I deal with not wanting to move to a new place and go to a new school?  
  When suggestions or thoughts come to you to take your life, what can you do?  
  How do you handle the temptations to have sex, drink, steal, etc?  
  Why is it so important to be yourself?  
  How can I make every week not seem so long and pointless?  
  How do you deal with criticism?  
  What do you do when you feel that your parents don’t know what’s best for you in the long run?  
  How can I find ideas when I have no inspiration to write a paper?  
  When a friend comes to you with a problem, how can you help him or her when you aren’t sure what to say?  
  If you bully others, why should you stop? And if you’re being bullied, how do you deal with it?  
  Why do people say that confidence is so important for teenagers?  
  How do you make the right decisions?  
  Peer pressure comes up in most of our lives, so how do you say, “No”?  
  How can we be happy when there are so many problems in high school?  
  Is it important to forgive?  
  The Bible says that God created mankind to “have dominion . . . over every living thing.” What exactly does that mean in relation to how we treat our earth?  
  How do you break stereotypes and make new friends when others make fun of you for reaching beyond the “accepted” circle?  
  How do we know if what we want is really what we need?  
  What do you do and how do you work when a teacher doesn't like you?  
  Moses stood on "holy ground." Did that mean he didn't need to go into the Promised Land?  
  How do I handle an abusive relationship?  
  Am I ever going to feel happy again?  
  What exactly is "Moses' sin"?  
  Is there anything in the Bible about interracial relations?  
  How do I deal with rejection?  
  How can you become a better student?  
  Why is the Bible so graphic at times?  
  Are there any Bible stories about relieving stress?  
  Why are the Midianites enslaving the children of Israel around Gideon's time?  
  What if Jesus never lived?  
  Does God really care about us?  
  How do you make good friends?  
  How do you motivate yourself to do things you don't really want to do but you should do?  
  How did the Children of Israel find water in a desert?  
  How do you know what's right to do in different situations?  
  In reference to the question, "Does God exist?" I'd like to learn more about the nature or concept of God.  
  Why did life spans of people go down when the flood happened?  
  How do we know God exists?
 
  I was wondering how to deal with people who speak in a harsh or unkind way unjustly, especially in the work field.
 
  How do you not get caught up in appearances and expectations and still not seem out-of-date, behind the times, or out-of-place?
 
  How can I feel good about myself when I don't like the way I look?  
 
 
     
   
     
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